Monday, 14 April 2014

How my Toddler is handling the effects of pregnancy sickness

I think we have a better handle of things. For example we have squeezed our budget so E does longer days at the childminder's. 9-4 instead of his usual 9-1.30. His daddy has more of a role in his day to day which is great. My dh is a very hands on dad anyways but he is practically doing this solo.

I am here for cuddles and soothing of egos in both directions.

I think I prefer this to E watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse for hours and me not joining in with his play.

I think I will feel less neglectful, less guilty.

I think E will be happier too although he hasn't been sad except when he crinkles his nose and asks " mummy you poorly?" And I say yes but I will be fine.

The nose crinkle

I pray that I will get over this and become more productive in our family.

Say a prayer for my Mr E if you get a chance, he is probably missing his mummy.



Saturday, 12 April 2014

Fucking Hell, let it be over already.

Don't actually know how much more sensitivity to smells i can take. Everything makes me gag, retch or vom.

The thing is I know I could be feeling worse but thanks to my homeopathy remedy I am not but it still sucks.

It's like everyone takes it for granted that I feel yuck. Don't blame them it's been going on for months. I just wish I could get some empathy.

I feel so alone in this. I can't moan about it to actual people because it feels sort of ungrateful.

I just need my nose & my belly to stop conspiring against me.



If you suffer from this hell, here is a fab website where you can get some support - Pregnancy Sickness Support


Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Dear Pip: 10 weeks

Yay! We hit double digits!

No offence kid but these have been horrible weeks. Today I had my worst scenario, I vommed in the street. Not once but twice. I walked into my therapy appointment very flustered & on the edge of tears. Good job I had therapy.

I got home ( had to take a cab halfway through a 15min walk after vomming so much I felt faint) and just cried my eyes out.

I am not a first timer but this is beyond anything I endured with E.

I am still glad pip is here though. I keep fantasising about the day I get to meet him (notice I said him, feels like a him but I may be wrong)

This is our last pregnancy so trying not to wish everything away.

My nose should be hired my MI5. Things that offend my nasal organ include E's weetabix breath, his nappies especially the night time sposie, Shea butter, dh's tassimo drinks, my sister's Ted Baker parfum, every smoker, eggs, my silly cat and his litter trays, dh's deodorant & man moisturiser.

Things my belly likes: my mum's jollof rice & Efo Riro, super malt, lemonade, lasagne, yeo valley vanilla yogurt, tiger bread, apples.

Issues with this - I am meant to be low carbing but I am just glad I am eating some protein & veg now, a few weeks ago it was mash potato all the frigging time.

But yes 10 weeks, this time last time round I was panicking because my grad dress didn't fit anymore and I had to buy a maternity one!

My belly is getting bigger and firmer, I am more tired, I am on series 4 of will & grace, series 5 of Castle. I have E's 3rd birthday to look forward to.

10 week foetus from Pregnancy HD App by health & parenting Ltd

So there is an equal measure of happy stuff in with the yuckiness that is 1st trimester.


Thursday, 3 April 2014

I am so cheesed off

So I gave been a huge backstreet boys fan since I was 8/9 never got to see them. They announced a tour and I grabbed tickets but we can't go because I am just too poorly. I know hubby is speaking sense but the little girl in me is so heartbroken.

Thanks to O2's no refunds policy I am going to be responsible for wasting over £100 if the tickers don't sell on stubhub.

Add to the mix apple telling me my phone passed their diagnostic tests so will be sent back to me, I feel so hard done by. My phone isn't fine, if not I wouldn't pack it off & be without means of communication for a week.

I haven't had a driving lesson in a month, we have spent £500 so far & have postponed my driving test 2ce now.

You guys know how much I wanted to be pregnant & to some like my hubby, it's just a gig. But at the moment my goals, my wants, my health seems to be on hold.

I am feeling so powerless.

I am feeling like I don't matter or exist.

Mostly I just wish I was well enough to see the 5 guys who gave me hope when I thought there was none sing about how we will show 'em what we're made of.





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