Thursday, 24 April 2014

Dear Pip - 12 Weeks - Utter Relief

Dear Pip,


You my dear have put me through a lot this week. It all started on Thursday, I had cramps & started spotting, didn't think anything of it because I had been spotting on and off since 6wks. Friday came and I woke up to awful backache that wouldn't quit, texted my midwife (who by the way I still haven't heard from but I guess bring Good Friday she wasn't working) and saw more spotting.

12 week bump <3

On Saturday, I passed clots. I started to freak out big time. Still had backache & cramps. We debated whether to go to hospital or not. What was stopping me was the fact that I was too poorly to sit there for 4 hours waiting to be seen. I slept the day away. On Sunday, cramps intensified and bleeding increased but was still minimal. I rang NHS111 on Monday because I really wanted to know for sure that everything was okay, they were helpful but couldn't get me a spot on EPAC.

EPAC needed a dr's referral. I was quite miffed about that. Anyways I managed to see my gp first thing Tuesday. My Gp rang EPAC only to be told that Thursday was the nearest they could fit me in.

I was so anxious but I saw you today and my fears melted away. Thank you for listening to me asking you not to go. You were so wriggly, the sonographer had a hard time catching the views she wanted. The main thing is that your heart is beating strong and you are having a rave in there!

I bought you your going home outfit today, we nearly bought the romper version then remembered you will be born in November. Sleepsuit set was more appropriate.

I love you soooo much and I really cannot wait to meet you.

We are already a third of the way there.

Hang in there gorgeous,


Mama xx


Wednesday, 23 April 2014

In 4 days I will have a 3 year old

Crikey! Life seems to just spin along rather quickly. I cannot believe my son is going to be three. I have had my motherhood badge for 3 years. Mind boggling. I know each year his birthday comes around, I share my sense of disbelief but it's true. I just can't get used to it.

 photo 300992_10150325524280951_506515950_8471844_2076111423_n.jpg E has changed an awful lot from the bubba we brought home from hospital to this gregarious, life loving toddler. That's another thing, he won't be a toddler anymore but a pre-schooler. If we were sending him to school I would be prepping his application this Christmas! But we are not so he has a good few years left to be carefree.

 photo 597B285D-98E4-4AA0-BB95-9588ED384C14-881-000000F66597AE84_zps942df8e9.jpg This year brings lots of changes for us as a family. Our dynamic will alter when pip joins us in November. E will have a lot of adjusting to do. I have such high hopes that he'll be okay. Heck he loves this foetus so much already. He always says "hello Baby!" Whilst rubbing my belly.

His parties have always been a highlight of my year, this year I am not in top form but I hope he would still enjoy himself. This year, he requested that his friends from the childminder come along too. His first invitees. I haven't started next year's birthday pin board seeing as I don't know what theme he'd like. I was going to do a gruffalo one this year but he told me he wanted a train party. He is a guy that knows what he wants.

I hope he enjoys himself!

Monday, 14 April 2014

How my Toddler is handling the effects of pregnancy sickness

I think we have a better handle of things. For example we have squeezed our budget so E does longer days at the childminder's. 9-4 instead of his usual 9-1.30. His daddy has more of a role in his day to day which is great. My dh is a very hands on dad anyways but he is practically doing this solo.

I am here for cuddles and soothing of egos in both directions.

I think I prefer this to E watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse for hours and me not joining in with his play.

I think I will feel less neglectful, less guilty.

I think E will be happier too although he hasn't been sad except when he crinkles his nose and asks " mummy you poorly?" And I say yes but I will be fine.

The nose crinkle

I pray that I will get over this and become more productive in our family.

Say a prayer for my Mr E if you get a chance, he is probably missing his mummy.



Saturday, 12 April 2014

Fucking Hell, let it be over already.

Don't actually know how much more sensitivity to smells i can take. Everything makes me gag, retch or vom.
The thing is I know I could be feeling worse but thanks to my homeopathy remedy I am not but it still sucks.
It's like everyone takes it for granted that I feel yuck. Don't blame them it's been going on for months. I just wish I could get some empathy.
I feel so alone in this. I can't moan about it to actual people because it feels sort of ungrateful.
I just need my nose & my belly to stop conspiring against me.

If you suffer from this hell, here is a fab website where you can get some support - Pregnancy Sickness Support


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