This past week, I have had my little sister round to stay for the half term. Hillary is growing up rapidly! One of the striking things about her aside from her ever extending limbs is her intelligence. She ain't no fool. She's also blossoming into a rather pretty young woman. We went for a walk at the park and we were catching up like sisters do. I asked her about How school was going, She asked me about Ethan. All normal until she let it slip that she was feeling the immense pressure from my dad's wish for one of his children to become a Doctor like himself. Because I couldn't manage it, It is up to her to do so even though She had always wanted to be a Barrister. That conversation left me on edge.For a start, I didn't want her having that placed upon her and more so I resent being viewed as a failure. It's funny how parental approval can seem so strong on one hand especially to someone like me who suffers from good girl syndrome. I'm so happy that I was able to build the life that I wanted and that I suppose is all I want for my children.
I want them to be happy with their life choices. If they choose to pursue Academia or not, whether they want fame or not. Whatever they decide all I really want is for them to be happy. Sounds so simple in principle.
Happiness.
10 comments:
Eeek I'd hate to have my children feel that they needed to follow in my footsteps - though to be fair they wouldn't need to follow that many. Your sister and anyone should pursue what makes them happy! Great post :)
Thank you, Laura!
Oh what a shame that you both have to feel like that. I think as a proud parent who sees his children's potential it must be very difficult to stand back, but I hope I will be able to watch my kids follow their own dreams with pride :-)
I hope my children never have to feel pressured to be anything, but I also want to let them feel that anything is possible....
This is really interesting and has given me a jolt to be careful about the expectations I accidentally place on my kids. With Joel, for example, he's only 3 but he's very bright and I already suspect could do any job he wants when he grows up, but that doesn't mean I think he should if he doesn't want to. Your post has made me realise that I probably don't communicate that properly, simply because I'm proud of him, and I need to be careful not to bring him up feeling the pressure to be anything other than what he wants to be. Thanks!
Thank you all for the comments!I would want Ethan to feel he can achieve anything, I just hope I can do that without making him feel pressured. To Motivate is a different sentiment I feel. It took a lot to tell my parents that after all that- private education and a damn good degree that I felt happiest being home with E, talk about being a disappointment! But We're happy. :-)
What a shame that you felt this way. I hope my children will always know all I want is for them to be happy.
My brother once had an outburst telling our family that he is not me. We were getting ready to send of his uni application and he's waited till then to admit he didn't want to go.
He's doing well with himself and I'm proud he followed his heart and is happy.
I hope your sister is able to do the same xx
I am a great believer that you cannot (and should not) force anyone to do anything. If your sister wants to become a Barrister than she should go for it! She should follow her heart. After all, she'll be the one doing all the hard work for it! She deserves to do something that she wants!
I would love my children to become Doctors, Lawyers etc...but I'd be just as happy in whatever career they choose. As long as they are happy!
Aww, if I can instil one thing into my child or (hopefully one day) children; it would be to follow THEIR dreams. It can be so easy as parents to pressurize children without meaning too.
I still now, as a grown up, find myself seeking my parents approval. But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. But I know that ultimately they would support me and be proud of me whatever I did.
A really lovely, thought-provoking post. x
Post a Comment