My dad called today. There is something about him ringing me that throws off my day. As usual, I let voicemail get it. It made me face the decision that I shoved at the back of my mind ever since I found out I was pregnant. You see, With the joy of preparing for my newborn comes family politics that I for one would rather not bother with. Since we got married, DH & I have made the decision not to allow anyone with negative thoughts about our family unit into our home. Unfortunately, My dad falls into that category so he has never come to visit. Ever. We text each other roughly every 3 months usually initiated by him. I can cope with his texts, I just can't deal with him on the phone. I go from this strong confident woman to this person I simply don't recognise. I hate that I get that way. I'm always fuming after the call.
I don't want my children to ever feel the way I felt and so I told DH that I don't want my dad meeting my kids and he supports my decision. However, My best friend made a poignant point the other day. She said " It's your decision but you have to remember it'll be Bean's decision one day." That I cannot control, If my son decides to seek him out when he is older, I will hate it but I won't be able to stop him. The same way my mum isn't comfortable with the fact that I barely speak to my dad. She can't make me the same way I won't be able to stop him. There is going to be a huge fall out once other family members find out about the decision but I say Our Home, Our Rules.
And that's the bottom line.
Have any of you had to make similar tough decisions? How have you handled it?
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Thursday, 10 March 2011
|Bayer Contour Blood Glucose Monitor|
Since my diagnosis, I have had to make some adjustments to my life. Aside from testing my blood glucose levels 4 times a day, I also have to watch the amount of carbs I eat. That is really tough because I'm a carb lover. Bread is my comfort food. nothing screams comfort than a chunk of toasted bread eaten with a nice mug of hot chocolate. The biggest adjustment is the change to my birth plan. I'm no longer considered low risk so I can't have my baby at the midwife led birth centre I had my eye on. I'm now going to be down the corridor at the main labour ward. The consultants I saw yesterday talked about inducing me between wk 39-40. They also did a growth scan, my lil bean was fast asleep and didn't appreciate being prodded so he gave the transducer an almighty kick, so much that the sonographer commented on it. I smiled and secretly thought to myself "that's my boy!" As it turns out, he is happy in there, his tummy is very big...actually off the charts and his approximate weight is 5lb 7oz, this is due to excess sugar in my blood due to not producing enough insulin.
This is my 3rd day monitoring my blood sugars and I'm winning the battle, although yesterday my hubby came home to me in floods of tears because I was terrified of eating any carbs and ended up eating a can of baked beans for lunch. Was a tad depressing. He made me see how ludacris I was being. Everyone needs carbs even temporary diabetics. This episode turned my thoughts to those who don't have the option of leaving diabetes behind at the delivery suite. Those with Type 1 & 2 have this for life. Check out www.diabetes.co.uk for more information on the condition.