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| Lil Bean's Test |
Well, We were a bit careless on Valentine's Day, actually it was more of a "Screw Contraception" moment (Pardon the pun) but anyways I started to worry when my iperiod app said I was 1 day late. Then it was 2, then 3. We are currently 7 days late. By late day 2, I started to symptom seek. I was experiencing some Nursing Aversion, I was tired and on late day 5 my back was aching. I was driving myself crazy so yesterday I peed on a stick and surprise surprise it was NEGATIVE.
Meanwhile before I POAS, I had this moment where I was nursing Ethan in bed, I'm sure the Oxytocin was flowing because I started to rub my belly (imagining I was actually pregnant) and it was so beautiful, I wanted to cry.
During the whole Am I/ Am I not fiasco, DH was really hoping we were pregnant. It is safe to assume that he is more broody than I am. I think part of the issue is that Ethan is growing up too quickly and in the last couple of days we have seen/cuddled 3 new babies and We want a new baby in our lives again.
I'm not even sure if I am actually late because I've only had 1 postpartum period and i'm not sure it was a period, eventhough it felt like one. The reason being that there is a possibility that the bleeding I experienced over 5 days last month could be a side effect of Citalopram.
Personally, I hate not knowing what my body is doing. I'm going to keep charting so that I know if i'm ovulating or not.
When I realised the test was negative, I was disappointed, I'm not gonna lie but I was also relieved because My bubba is still little even though it seems he is growing up so quickly and I don't want to short change him. There is a possibility that my milk might dry up during pregnancy and E needs his milk. I wouldn't want to take it away from him. There is also the issue of my c-sec scar. I read that the longer between pregnancies, the lower the risk of uterine rupture. I also want to be fitter for my VBAC. Finally, I know i'm feeling better in myself but I want to recover fully from PND. I certainly would prefer to be off medication before we get pregnant. I'm aware that most babies aren't as planned as Ethan was that certainly applies more to subsequent children. However, I would like some control over when it happens.
So there we are, Number 2 is on our minds but Lil Bean is in our arms.
3 comments:
I had baby brain a while back. We currently have two (3 yr old & 9 month old). I quickly snapped back to my senses. I remember how tortured I felt about cutting my daughter's time as the baby short when I got preggers with her brother and we've decided to wait the full five years before having my Mirena taken out.
Good luck to you guys as you work towards your TTC journey for #2.
Oh, every stage of this process is so exciting, even the thinking about it part. I know the minute we decided to stop trying NOT to conceive, all I could think about was conceiving, even though we didn't plan to really try for a few months. A month later, I was pregnant ;) I'm excited to see how your journey unfolds when you decide you're ready to go for it!
Thank you ladies! Mel I like that, I'm hoping no2's conception is like E's , 1 cycle then bam! No time to obsess over Egg White Cervical Fluid!
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