A little Warning: This is a brain dump.
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| Source: thinkbaby.com |
I have just come in from a group and to be honest I'm feeling a little tense. My Ethan was doing what he does going here there and everywhere. I was having a hard time supervising since there was little floor space and lots of boisterous toddlers about. Anyway, This lady has a son that is the same age as Ethan. She spent the entire time comparing them. One phrase that is going round my head was when she said " He is always on the go, well for me" Obviously projecting unto me that I wouldn't think He was on the go because E cruises quicker. I didn't know what to say to be honest. Everyone knows Children grow & develop differently. I left feeling bad that Ethan can do all the things he can.
I really try hard to stay out of this competition thing that some mothers like to do and furthermore, I struggle with comparing myself with others because I realise that comparison is a Joy-stealer.
How would you deal with situations like this? Let me know.
3 comments:
I'll be honest that reading your blog I am amazed at what your son is doing (hope this does not upset you further)... you see my wee man just turned a year and though doing lots of standing and cruising shows no interest in walking anywhere...I always joke that he is just too lazy...why walk when you can crawl. The only thing he did early was arrive two weeks early! He has always been late with everything...9 months before we saw the first tooth. So like you I stopped comparing my son to others...I knew very well that he would do it all in his own time which by the way goes so quickly why do I want to rush him anyway. It's hard though in groups like this not to compare and comment on differences and maybe unconsciously seek a bit of comfort in your insecurities about what your baby isn't doing. I guess in a situation like this its best just to simply be honest with her and just say "we all know babies develop differently" and enjoy the peace of a baby not being on the go while you can (lol).
Brina, thank you for your comment. You were really helpful. I was able to see things from what I imagine to be her point of view. I especially liked the bit where you said that she's probably trying to ease her insecurities. Lord knows we all have those! Thank you x
I made it my resolution this year to not listen to what anyone else's kids are doing when we chat - to pay attention but not to get worked up about it all - it's hard, but it's making me less cross about it all.
I think it's something which comes with the territory and is unavoidable, but oh, I know what you mean.
H was the last one of our group to walk and the last one to get her first tooth, and I remember at the time being so desperate for her to be like her friends - and she had just turned one! Madness...
These days I just remind myself I wasn't taught half of what she is being taught when I was her age, and I've turned out okay, which helps me get some perspective on it - but it is hard!
x
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