9 days to go.

today at group.

I knew I would be an emotional wreck when my bubba turns one. What I failed to anticipate is the build up. I have been busy planning the party, getting back to normal after our holidays that I haven't stopped. Until today. This evening, Ethan decided he wanted to go to bed early. 5.30pm.
I snuggled and nursed him down like I've done since he was born. his eyes got heavy and droopy, his sucking slowed, his hands stopped caressing and his breathing steadied. At this point I would get up and join the others but for some reason I just couldn't. I wanted to stay and cuddle him for longer.

This past year has been such a roller coaster. I have loved deeper than ever thought possible. Ethan has taught me so much about myself. He has helped me unearth issues that I have buried for so long. It was hard but so worth it to face them. I'm still on that journey.

I love how his personality simply tickles me. Everything from his facial expressions, his grunts when he isn't getting his way, his giggle and his warm smile. He is such a toddler now.

I know this is only the beginning and I'm so looking forward to seeing him grow.
I'm so blessed to have him.