Nearly four years after I decided to cut contact with my dad, today was his chance to change my mind. But he hasn't. He wanted to meet and my gut was saying not to but I agreed as long as Ethan wasn't there & it was in a neutral place.
After a rearrangement back in January, today was the day. As we parked up in the restaurant's car park I had a call to say he hasn't left & it'll be an hour before he turns up.
This just proved that I had made the right choice all those years ago.
To him, I don't matter. My time, my opinions, my voice just doesn't matter to him.
It never has.
His words are different to his actions. As it happens actions speak louder than words.
The thing is back at university, I grieved the loss of the parents I would never have. So today it was almost like I closed that chapter.
I am no longer 5, I am no longer the child he could intimidate. No longer the teen he would scream at and manipulate.
I am my own woman. I am a wife, a mother, a friend.
Each day, I pray that we break the cycle of abuse.
Ethan will have better.
I am bringing up my boundary of no contact. Chopping out the toxic, rubbing in the salt. In time, healing will come.